Tag Archives: pedophilia

MAPs on Twitter

Recently, Twitter locked or suspended accounts belonging to Minor Attracted People; the timing coincided with a ridiculous article in The Sun, UK edition, about pedophiles on Twitter. The Sun is the sort of publication that, daily, has several articles with the term in the title.

Sensationalism doesn’t prevent abuse.

Last Friday, I signed my name to a letter to Twitter. You can read it on Jeremy Malcolm’s Medium blog, Experts, Police, and Vigilantes Face Off Over Pedophiles on Twitter  

Today, The Prevention Podcast interviewed Ender, one of the MAPs who was suspended from Twitter. You can listen to the podcast here.

Here’s the thing: most people become aware of their sexuality somewhere around puberty (approximately ages 10-14). This is about the time we start giving our children a bit of freedom in the world–to walk to school without us, to spend some time on the internet. This is the period when parents whisper furtive prayers that their child will be all right. We hope they’ll find good role models and good people to hang around with.

Twitter removed the good role models from their site. This reduces the chance of a young MAP meeting the likes of Ender before they decide to search for child pornography, before they meet a pro-contact pedophile.

It’s estimated that less than 20% of sexual crimes are committed by Minor Attracted People. That means that almost 20% of sexual offenses can be prevented.

I have yet to meet a person, no matter how heinous, upon whom I would wish sexual assault. In order to prevent abuse, we have to talk about it.


Why I’m Supporting Part of the Most Hated Group in Society

I am not a pedophile. I have no sexual attraction to children. I defend pedophilia as an orientation. I support non-offending pedophiles, and I will support offenders who choose to begin a non-offending lifestyle. I do not support the lowering of any age-of-consent, and I do not support pro-contact pedophiles.

There are three reasons why I’m doing this:

1. Preventing child sexual abuse
Our current system for protecting children puts the burden on the children. This seems—well, stupid. I fully agree that we should be educating our children about “good touch” and “bad touch”, and about sexuality in general, but we’re assuming a four-year-old can fend off an adult. (Even a teenager will have problems denying consent to an adult.) We tell the children to report someone who has made them feel uncomfortable or touched them, which means the child has to be violated before we take action.
By supporting the anti-contact pedophile community, we take the burden off the children.

2. These are humans, not monsters
I know this point doesn’t go over very well with non-allies, but pedophiles are humans. They know they’re part of the most despised group of humans: they feel the guilt, shame and isolation society wants them to feel. Their rates of self-harm and suicide are astoundingly high.
People find comfort wherever they can. If family, friends and the community don’t offer support, an affectionate hug from a child might seem like consent when one is desperate for positive attention.
I want pedophiles to feel positive support for choosing the non-offending path.

3. Fixing the language
The terms pedophile and pedo are thrown around as general insults.
Society used to allow homophobic and racial slurs, too, but we realise that’s hurting a lot of people, so we stopped.
If someone is not a pedophile, it’s useless to apply the term to them. If you don’t like their looks, their politics, their sexuality, that has nothing to do with pedophilia.
A pedophile is not the same as a child molester.
If we don’t use the proper language, we can’t communicate with each other.


On Being a Pedo Ally

I am not a pedophile. I have no sexual attraction to children. I defend pedophilia as an orientation. I support non-offending pedophiles, and I will support offenders who choose to begin a non-offending lifestyle. I do not support the lowering of any age-of-consent, and I do not support pro-contact pedophiles.

I wasn’t going to do this until the book was a little further ahead but, today, someone’s Facebook comment pushed me right off the deep end.

Pedophilia is a sexual orientation. It’s not something that can be chosen or controlled. It’s not something that can be “fixed”. (It’s not something that needs to be “fixed”, either.)

What can be chosen is the non-offending lifestyle. With support and people to talk to, anyone can remain a non-offender. As one person phrased it, “I never find it hard to not offend. NEVER.” After all, there are pedophiles who have gone 50 or 60 years without offending, so someone who’s only 12 or 16 can certainly make it another day, yeah?

The people I’ve talked to don’t struggle with not offending. What they struggle with is severe isolation, loneliness, depression, self-loathing, self-doubt, guilt and fear. This is the part that needs to be “fixed”. How can someone expect to avoid seeking comfort if they’re feeling these things, if they can’t talk to a doctor or a priest or a teacher without fear of being reported to the authorities (even if they haven’t committed a crime)? How can a teenager feel loved by their parents if they worry constantly about how their parents will react if they find out?

When someone says, “Pedophilia makes teenagers want to go on week-long drug binges,” are you sure you want to let that go without professional support? Yes, this is an example of the “sick, sick fuck” that people like to threaten. What’s sick, though, has nothing to do with their sexual orientation and everything to do with their mental health.

Educate yourselves, please. These are humans, not monsters.

Here’s a list of some of the delightfully loud-mouthed pedophiles who are literally risking their lives, doing their damnedest to keep everyone safe:

Ender Wiggins: Twitter, blog

Gary Gibson: Dr. Phil, The Daily Mail

Todd Nickerson: Twitter, YouTube

Mells the MAP: YouTube

A whole lot of kick-ass people on Medium.

Some other kick-ass people on VirPed.


You’ve Brought It on Yourselves

Activity Being Avoided: nothing, really: I’m just waiting for Windows to update on my other computer.
Music In My Head: Tin Man – The Avett Brothers (Hey, at least it’s a different song.)
Tea Being Drunk: none. I’m trying to not float away.
Book Being Read: A Man for All Seasons – Robert Bolt

In an effort to avoid branding, I decided (upon finishing Homology and then again upon finishing To Be Human Again) that I would write about something other than sex. It’s an awesome topic–and I use the adjective literally, not colloquially–but fitting into a box just isn’t my thing.

You monsters, though, you just won’t let it alone. Every time someone proposes an excellent idea, some eejit takes everything back a couple of light-years. For chrissake, I just finished a book for you monsters, demonstrating that there’s reason for everything deemed “deviant”, and you ignore me.

Well. That means I just have to write more.

A recent issue of The Walrus had an article that is good, in that it offers reason and a possible solution to a problem that has not been solved in the history of humankind. It’s aptly entitled Why Would Someone Choose to Be a Monster? Indeed. No one chooses such a life–and no one is asking that pedophiles be allowed to go on their merry way; the point is that we come to understand their perspective so that we can find a way to accommodate their needs without people getting hurt.

And then CBC–written and edited by people who, by virtue of residency and calling, are obliged to be unswerving readers of The Walrussensationalises the idiocy of our justice system with the ever-so-useful term “dangerous offender” in the headline.

Mr. Lund, the “dangerous offender”, has been sentenced to indefinite incarceration; the article notes that he spent more than half his pre-trial incarceration in segregation.

This is a human being. What makes his life any less-important than the lives of the people he’s hurt?

Currently, I’m working on a nice, often-pleasant love story. You monsters, however, have left me in a position where the books beside my bed are starting to display a disturbing tone (again) and the characters are starting to find a place in my head. You monsters have boxed me in, so I’ll have to find a way to use it to an advantage–anyone’s advantage.

I leave you with a video that is a socially-acceptable step in the right direction. Apply it to sexual mental illness. Don’t take us backwards, please.