In which the real problems within organised religion are exposed.
Wee Student: Priests are leaders? One time, I walked into this priest’s office, and he was just sitting there eating potato chips and drinking Coke.
Me: Maybe he was hungry.
Wee Student: He shouldn’t be doing that!
Me: I don’t think there’s anything in their vows about junk food.
Wee Student: There should be. They shouldn’t be allowed to eat that in church. God needs them to be healthy if they’re going to take care of us.
In which a student demonstrates the adroitness of multilingualism.
Me: How would you summarise Othello’s character development throughout the play?
In which Sheila and her student wish for progress in education and debate the sharing of sharp weapons.
Student: The topic for the essay is whether social media is good or bad for teenagers. Yawn.
Sheila: Don’t hand me a simple bad or good. Don’t bore me.
Student: What should I say?
Sheila: The topic is a dead horse: stop allowing it to be beaten. Find a knife, slice the meat up and serve it around. Make that dead thing useful.
Student: Have you got a knife in your arsenal? Share it?
Sheila: Git your own knife. I ain’t sharin’.
In which a student is forced, by the most draconian means (“Read this for next week.”), to read Anne Carson’s Antigonick.
Student: IN A NUTSHELL: PEOPLE WERE REALLY DEPRESSED BACK IN THE DAY.
Me: Your homework was to find a poem you like–seeing as you’re being rather persnickety about poems.
Student: I found one. It’s Ben Jonson’s A Fit of Rhyme against Rhyme.
Me: Good choice. So, tell me about Ben Jonson.
Student: He’s a modern poet. I can tell ’cause he’s good. Not like that J. Alfred Prufrock guy.
In which a student confuses words and evokes Harlequin fantasy.
“The law [Bill C-16] does not consider the majority as women tend to feel somewhat venerable when a biologically-male person barges into their change-room.”
In which there is a local school that requires an updated perspective of their job, and it really has been one of those weeks….
Student: I need help with this essay. In Native English Lit class, which is taught by some white guy who says it’s still okay for us to read Joseph Boyden’s books in class, I have to write about post-colonialism in Tomson Highway’s The Rez Sisters. But the teacher didn’t teach us anything about post-colonialism–and I’m not white!