In which there is a local school that requires an updated perspective of their job, and it really has been one of those weeks….
Student: I need help with this essay. In Native English Lit class, which is taught by some white guy who says it’s still okay for us to read Joseph Boyden’s books in class, I have to write about post-colonialism in Tomson Highway’s The Rez Sisters. But the teacher didn’t teach us anything about post-colonialism–and I’m not white!
In which the reader learns what kind of a week Sheila is having.
Me to student: If you’re going to cheat, at least put the effort into cheating well.
In which the comma saga continues.
Student: Of course I abused the commas! They sent me threatening messages and said they were going to beat me up! I could either delete them all or abuse them. Those were the only choices they left me!
In which the sarcastic remark is flung aside in favour of punctuation rights.
Student: I am not sprinkling the commas randomly like glitter! I’m not that kind of fairy. I’m setting the commas free from the prisons you put them in. I’m liberating trapped commas!
In which a business student, recently accused of being too logical in her approach to English, hands it back to the tutor on a silver platter.
Tutor: Okay, you now have a reasonable essay on classical traditions in poetry. Write a good title to go with it.
Student: “Classical Traditions”.
Tutor: That’s a little too predictable to be creative and a little too vague to be descriptive.
Tutor: You’re not selling Coke. Create something beautiful, something that demonstrates your command of language and applies your knowledge from English class.
Student (deadpan): “Hybridizing Sympathetic Demolition: Classical Traditions in the Flock”.
In which parental influence on language asserts itself.
“My relative owned the only non-government-regulated factory in the area, and they needed his product so they let him do what he wanted. His personal rebellion was to hire only Russian defects.”
In which a student waits somewhat impatiently while Sheila contemplates the most articulate word for a sentence.
Student: *sigh* Flipping through that great big brain book of yours?