I took down the Christmas decorations–partially because the holidays are officially over, partly because I needed to get off me arse and pretend I wasn’t spending the whole day watching Downton Abbey, and partly because the cats were eating the artificial tree.
Taking down the decorations means the annual recording of The Lady Abuse. As usual, my youngest sister did her thing to my statue.
My mother denies teaching my sister to tie knots (though I recall thousands of hours spent tying up tomato plants in the garden) and tells a story of how my sister flunked shoe-tying in Kindergarten. Thus, according to some half-witted Kindergarten teacher from the backwoods of Lanark County, my mum is not responsible for this.
My dad says he’s responsible for teaching my sister the art of bondage. Remind me to get his doctor to check his meds tomorrow.