Gerard the RealityWorks baby died yesterday. No, my daughter didn’t kill him; it seems to have been a battery/computer problem. In attempt to stave off nuclear meltdown – we made it until dinnertime – we had her write a death certificate and eulogy:
Gerard Lafleur died when he was only two days old. In the short time that he was with us, he cried. He cooed, he screamed and he made people love him. He made me love him. I got him on Friday October the 22nd. He stopped breathing at 6:11 am on Sunday. He was wearing a tiny pair of blue sleepers with a blue dinosaur over his heart. All I can hope for is that after he was gone, he climbed on the back of that dinosaur and it carried him all the way up to heaven.
I love you, my little Gee-gee. Something will always be missing without you here.
Unfortunately, my daughter’s teacher has no sense of humour, nor empathy. She said the efforts “weren’t necessary”. Jerk. To think this woman is teaching a parenting course….